I would say that I’m generally a happy person. I try to keep a positive outlook on life and try to see the glass as half full, instead of half empty. Most people know this side of me, as I love being in the company of others, and enjoy establishing connections between myself and others, but I wasn’t always like this. Even now, I still struggle with a ghost from my past; a personality and mindset I wanted to leave behind. It is one of negativity, anger, and unhappiness. Sometimes, pieces of this “old me” resurface when faced with some hardship, often leaving me in a melancholy for the rest of the day. I often get out of these slumps with some help from friends and being around them. Lately, I’ve been experiencing one of these moods and sincerely thank my friends for trying to help me get out of it. In return, allow me to tell you a story. My story. I’ll tell you about my struggles during one of the darkest times in my life and how I overcame it. Perhaps, this will help one of you reading this now.
I guess we should start at the beginning of my junior year in high school. I was coming in fresh from fairly successful academic year and was looking forward to a repeat success, as I had my sights set on a career in engineering at the University of Alberta, one of the best schools around. Leading me to the decision to take an early class of IB Physics, which is kind of an advanced class. I wanted to take this class to get ahead in my studies, while still having room for more classes. Ignorant to what would be one of the greatest mistakes in my life and the beginning of a long, dark road for me. At first, going to classes was easy, I could wake up early and get to class on time. However, around two months in, I began to grow exhausted, slowly began to miss more of the morning class, until it got to the point where I just stop going. I just couldn’t motivate myself to wake up in the morning anymore and this lack of motivation soon began to have a domino effect, resulting in me skipping other classes. Which, didn’t sit right with my school administration so, they had to schedule many parent-teacher meetings to discuss what to do with me and my declining attendance rates. This began to cause problems at home, as my parents and I would often get into arguments about my schooling. As a result, I began to rely more on video games to escape from the growing stress and due to this over reliance, I became addicted. I spent all my money and time playing games, and not studying. My grades began to fall even lower, resulting in more arguments and fights in the home.
I had dug myself into a deep hole with no escape in sight. I began to despair, began to loathe the person who I was becoming. I sought counsel to help me through this dark time and it helped me a little, however my mindset still remained the same. I ended up finishing off that school year with measly grades and failing my physics class. My dream of becoming an engineer was over leaving me without any idea what I wanted to do. My life was still in shambles, but as the saying goes, at the end of every storm is a rainbow.
That summer was the beginning of a change and a shift in my lifestyle, and a beginning of a new chapter in my life, starting off with my family going on a 4 day trip to Ontario, where I would experience the bustling, urban metropolis of Toronto ; the historic capital city of Canada, Ottawa; and the mystifying, beautiful Niagara Falls. This was one of my family’s first trips in a long time and it really helped my mindset a lot. My eyes opened to the outside world and I loved it. Positive thoughts such as, ” Wow, one day I could live here if I so desired.”. A week after we returned, we left for one of my favorite places in the entire world; Vancouver, British Columbia, for about a week. We go there yearly to visit my relatives, and I always have some of the best times of my life while I’m there. This particular year, we decided to rent out some cabins at a beach side resort on beautiful Vancouver Island. We didn’t have internet there, we had limited TV channels, our primary entertainment was enjoying the beautiful outdoors. We lived a simple lifestyle, waking up early to watch the sunrise and collect fresh oysters washed upon the shore, spent time with each other for the day, and watched the sunset at the end of the day. I had never been so happy. The hardships, pain, and disappointment, everything that I had gone through from the past year, simply ceased to exist when I was there. I felt such a weight lift off my shoulders and began to realize that I was surrounded by so many good things in my life, things I took for granted. I found happiness in those small things being a part of my life.
After returning home from that vacation, I committed to living a life in which I would appreciate the small things and for the joy of being alive. It was a bit hard at first, but eventually I became an overall happier person and vastly improved my life. During my last year of high school, I began to get my act together again and am now about to enter my first year of DMIT classes at my local Institute of Technology.
Over the course of a year, I went from the lowest point in my life, despairing at my own existence, to triumphing over the darkness in my heart and living life to the fullest. So for those of you who are in a similar situation as I was in, where you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, I just want you to think about all the little things that bring you happiness. Whether it is friends, the outdoors, family, whatever makes you happy, if you acknowledge the things that bring you happiness and focus on them you will find your way through the darkness.
Wow that was longer than I thought it would be, I don’t know if I properly told my story or conveyed what I wanted to say properly or if my connections make sense, but I hope you enjoyed reading it and I hope that I can help someone with this.
Thanks for reading