Degenerate Diaries: First Day at SJSU

At the age of 17 I already knew I wanted to move to the bay area. From the skate videos I would dive into to the music from the area, I knew it was calling to me. Lucky for me I did well in high school and was able to attened San Jose State! It was going to be my great migration to new experiences and possible hijinx.

That summer I worked at a summer camp and for my first job, it was pretty fun. Eventually, my boss got fired for smoking and being an avid smoker at the time, I was a bit shook.

It was the first time I got to see the consequences of smoking for people that weren’t in high school. Not only was he immediatly fired, he was banned LOL. This brought me to eventually deciding that in college I would reform myself and go with the typical studious and good boy student aesthetic… But that was after orientation…

At my orientation, I had to stay over night for a weekend on the campus, and my roommate EJ was this Bay area local. He was trying to tell me about all the cool shit about the bay area and I was just eating it all up. Being so in love with this area before coming, I was so willing to accept the Lil B pride and the HYPHY parties. And yes, I learned about the “wonton soup” and cooking dances LOLOL.

Anyways I was excited to try new shit but at orientation one thing the guides let us know constantly was that if there was bud usage on campus, it was treated as a federal offense. Obviously, being a “future college student in 2 months” I knew that a federal offense FUCKING SUCKS!

So EJ and I, decided to hit up the “future freshman party” on the last night, and it was so boring. I get they always try to make these event things decently fun but come on sometimes LOL, a party in a gym? Songs with the “clean” versions? How am I supposed to get my hyphy on with every other word being a pause LOLOL. So we decided to look for some bud or alcohol, something to change the night but in the end it was a bust. We were not blessed yet to have our sophmores and juniors to teach us which liquor shop doesn’t card and where the best spots were to sneak a toke.

Regardless, I wake up for the last day which was the class sign up day and I decided to fill mine out fast, EJ on the other hand wakes up late and was panicking, so I let hin see my form to see how I filled mine out (as the responsible future college student and great friend I was). I added EJ on facebook and told him hopefully I’ll see you around so we can actually party and he was gonna hold me to that.

I head back to work finish the summer and witness my boss get fired and all that jazz. So at this point I decided I needed to be an angel, so I had to leave my habits of being a class clown and idiot aside, NOW I AM A NEW MAN TODAY…

So I move into my dorm and what do you know, my roomate is the type of student I wanted to become and that made me feel at ease. After looking into different religious clubs and talking to the science clubs, I knew I was ready to be a stand out citizen. It didn’t feel right but I knew this would work out in the long run… maybe lol

First day of school, I only had a math lab class, which is the homework class for these long lectures. So our teacher didn’t show up and everyone being freshman still stayed the full time. And as I sit down waiting with them, guess who I see… EJ!

Turns out EJ signed up for all the same classes as me when he “looked” *cough* COPIED MY SCHEDULE! I was laughing at how dumb that was but I felt relaxed for once knowing at least I would have one good homie out in this new land.

So as people start leaving because the professor didn’t show up, EJ pulls me aside and tells me, “Bro… I need help!”

So obviously I, the angel/good student was obliged to do good deeds and help poor, naive EJ as my first victim. So I assured my new friend, “sure dude, anything for my bay area buddy :)”

“So I knew I only had one class today so I decided to leave my wallet at home, because I didn’t need to buy lunch… and only packed enough money for my trip to get here on the BART…”

“BART……?”

“It’s out train system out here, basically I need to borrow $7 to get home. Look I’ll hook you up, I have a joint, and a gram of bud, please man!”

“For only $7….” I said dumbfounded.

My first day of university, of my adulthood journey brought me to a fork in the road. I looked at the joint, looked at EJ’s scared face, and looked into my heart. Then I thought… yea this is too good to pass up…

I rush to my room freaking out that I just did this at school, and my roomate had our floormate over. He looks at me and very loudly… “Is that what I think I fucking smell?”

“Dude… I had to help a friend out… My B”

As I nervously pull out the joint, I BROKE IT! So I did what any aspiring engineer major would. Pull out my stapler and start building with duct tape.

“Dude this is not cool… what the fuck”

“Nah I think this is kind of creative I’m getting a bit curious,” our floormate says as he is intently seeing my process work.

As I leave my room one of the RAs pulls me aside, “so how was it today?”

“Oh… you know, nerve racking.”

Then I zoom out on my skateboard to get to higher ground.

Next thing you know I’m at a local park using a stapler as my tool, EJ caught the BART home and I got to finish my first day of college on a high note.

Thankfully this lead me to making some of the funniest memories and continue to have funny ongoing experiences due to my natural degeneracy. Theres no reason to run away from a possible story or experience to happen. Living is a verb, not just some nice concept or idea.

And yes, I was scared of facing the consequences, but to be honest, I am more scared of not taking that deal and just ending up with the typical first day of college story. In the end I just can’t run away from who I am, and that’s alright with me – swervenights

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